Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
