Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
