It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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