My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
