yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
