yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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