That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
