i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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