Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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