I think im going to throw up on grandma
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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