Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
