I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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