we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
