You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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