tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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