you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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