If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
