Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
