If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
