do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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