Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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