I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
