His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
