My friends, they love my intelligence
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
