p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
love makes seman taste better
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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