So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
