Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Enjoy the penises
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
