Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
