She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
