Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
