you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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