I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
