i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
