Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
