I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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