my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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