My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Fuck me I smell like cheese
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize