Sry I called you an 8
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
