You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
