i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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