Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
