She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i think i just naturally attract stoners
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
