ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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