like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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