meet me or not, i'm out of control
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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