She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
