I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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