he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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