Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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