Yo dont text me then not text me
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
All I want is dick and wine.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
