I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
