what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
