I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize