um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
