So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
My feet surprised me
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
