I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
