this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
