ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
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