ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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