umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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