you win again, gameday.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sorry my hands just texted you
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
