my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
